Monday, September 12, 2011

It Will Never be Easy.

Of course you're thinking that it's easy. God knows that it's not. Not at all. But it wasn't easy for me to be there either.  It was a difficult choice, this decision I made. At the end of the day, I had to choose a path that would lead me to a journey of growth -- as a person, in terms of my career, and in terms of charting my own destiny. 

I may appear selfish. But I'd been selfless during all those times, always doing the best I can to make you happy, to make you proud. Despite all of that, you never appreciated what I was trying to do for you. You never made me feel that my hard work was worth something. No, you never made me feel that you were proud of what I had accomplished. Never.

So I thought it was time to think of the things I want for myself and actualize them, to chase my dreams and try to attain happiness -- happiness that does not involve pleasing you.

Have I achieved those goals? Yes, I guess. Or maybe I'm halfway there. And the best part of it all is the peace of mind that ensued after I removed myself from such a suffocating environment. 

But has it been easy? No. It hasn't been. And it never will be. My mind still wanders to your direction at times. My heart does ache for you. But I have to keep going no matter how difficult things get for me in this journey. Because going back will not make things any easier for me...for you.

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