Monday, September 12, 2011

It Will Never be Easy.

Of course you're thinking that it's easy. God knows that it's not. Not at all. But it wasn't easy for me to be there either.  It was a difficult choice, this decision I made. At the end of the day, I had to choose a path that would lead me to a journey of growth -- as a person, in terms of my career, and in terms of charting my own destiny. 

I may appear selfish. But I'd been selfless during all those times, always doing the best I can to make you happy, to make you proud. Despite all of that, you never appreciated what I was trying to do for you. You never made me feel that my hard work was worth something. No, you never made me feel that you were proud of what I had accomplished. Never.

So I thought it was time to think of the things I want for myself and actualize them, to chase my dreams and try to attain happiness -- happiness that does not involve pleasing you.

Have I achieved those goals? Yes, I guess. Or maybe I'm halfway there. And the best part of it all is the peace of mind that ensued after I removed myself from such a suffocating environment. 

But has it been easy? No. It hasn't been. And it never will be. My mind still wanders to your direction at times. My heart does ache for you. But I have to keep going no matter how difficult things get for me in this journey. Because going back will not make things any easier for me...for you.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Yes, it Still Makes Me Cry

The void in my heart is still there even after all this time--that void that should have been filled with your love. And to this day, it still makes me break down into tears like a newborn child.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Marry Me, Ya Habibi.

Dear Sheikh Hamdan bin Mohammed bin Rashid al Maktoum,

It's very hard to recall your name but I don't care. You have a very beautiful face that's easier to remember. Please look for me and marry me. Soon.



P.S. I wouldn't mind if I'd be the 2nd, 3rd or 5th wife. And I also wouldn't mind if you want me to give you 20 children. Anything for you, ya habibi.

Wake Me Up!

Today's one of those days when I don't feel like getting out of bed in the morning (but nevertheless have to because there's work to be done), when I dread facing the day, when I dread staying in the office the whole day, bored to death. 

Well, it's not just today that I've been getting this feeling. I've had it for several weeks now. I feel like I'm stuck in a rut. I wish there's something exciting that would come my way, you know? I don't want my life and career to be so routinary and mechanical.

Please, ya Allah. Let something huge and exciting jolt me wide awake. 

Friday, September 2, 2011

Black and White

So yeah. I changed my layout and design. I've been obsessing over black-and-white themed photos lately, hence the change. What do you think? I'll really appreciate your thoughts.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Just Sayin'.

There's no better source of migraine than having a spoiled, bratty, hard-headed younger sister who refuses to eat for vanity reasons.