Dead Dreams

Modesty aside, I know in my heart that I can do a lot of things. I don't want to enumerate them lest I might appear too boastful and arrogant. But seriously. There are a lot of things that I can do but I really believe that I'm wasting these "gifts"/"skills" because I don't use them for my or my loved ones' benefit. It's not that I deliberately choose not to use them. I JUST DON'T HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO PUT THEM TO USE. Yeah, I'm that unlucky. *le sigh*

I really envy people who have found ways to put their talents and skills to good use. I envy people who have found ways to turn their passion or hobbies into, well, business. Serious business. They get to earn a living out of something that they enjoy doing every single day. *le sigh* I'm not saying I'm not enjoying my present work. It's just that sometimes I get burned out writing pleadings and thinking intellectually all the time. Arguing all the time. Analyzing all the time. Worrying about other people's problems (And take note, I don't even get to meet these people. They exist only in the records I read. I can only imagine how they look or appear.)

I'm a lawyer and I know some people think I wouldn't want anything more, career-wise. But no. I still dream of being a singer-songwriter. I still dream of putting up my own restaurant, with the menu consisting of my "invented" recipes. I still dream about being a make-up artist/stylist. I still dream of becoming a radio DJ or VJ or newscaster. If only I were as lucky as others. *le sigh*

Enough with the daydreaming. I have to get back to writing my pleading due on Thursday.

NBC