Dresses, Shoes and Women are Mint to Be

Yesterday, I got my pay for the week. Yesterday also, I spent almost the entirety of that pay on shoes, dresses and really pretty blazers. Ahhhh, the dilemma of being a woman. I'll post pictures of my shameless purchases hopefully this coming weekend. Maybe then you'll see why I couldn't resist buying them. I'm actually now wearing one of the dresses, one of the blazers and one of pairs of shoes I bought last night for the Pilipinas Natin event later this afternoon. The event will be graced by President Noynoy himself. Hence my extra effort to dress up. :)

Speaking of dresses, I am currently obsessing over mint green dresses. I saw one at the SM Makati Department Store last April while I was looking for a dress to wear for the oath-taking ceremony but it's freakin' expensive. It's almost P6,000! But it's really, really pretty. I hope it's on sale by now. I can't wait to have it as an addition to my miserably empty closet.

Here are some photos of mint green dresses I found on the net. Aren't they beautiful? The color just looks very cool and calming in  the eyes.

I WANT. Nuff said.

Why not? :)

Freida Pinto looks very regal and ravishing in this mint green gown.

It's for kids, I know, but I think it'd be great if there would be a version for adults. :)

This is very lovely. I must have something similar to this in my closet.

Oooh, I want.

Incidentally, I don't see celebrities wearing this color that much. I think it's time this color become the new black. It's too pretty it deserves to be seen more on the red carpet...or in any ordinary lady's wardrobe.

What do you think? Sound off below!

Smooches,

NBC

March 17, 2011: The Day I Earned Those Four Letters and a Period

MARCH. It's the month that every 2010 bar candidate dreaded--because it was the month the results of the bar examinations would be released.

As far as I was concerned, I had rather ambivalent feelings for the month. On one hand, I didn't want it to arrive simply because I didn't want to be told that I flunked. That's understandably every bar examinee's worst nightmare. On the other hand, I just wanted the agony of waiting to end. I no longer wanted Damocles' sword hanging over my head. I wanted to know the results so I could plan on what to do next and get on with life. Or end it. Kidding. But yeah, I did think of killing myself if I failed. I know, I'm such a loser.

Days before the bar results actually came out, I received an SMS from a friend, saying that judgment day (or Doomsday, at least for me) would be March 18. From then on, I started weeping like a bereaved mother.

On March 16, my best friend informed me that the results would be  released the following day. Wait, I thought. I was earlier told that it would be on March 18. I argued with her. I didn't want to believe what I was just told. I wasn't ready. No, I wasn't prepared to be told that I didn't make it...because the pessimistic schizo that I am, I'd never fully convinced myself during the entire six-month waiting period that I would pass.

I finally surrendered and stopped pointlessly arguing with her when she said that the information came from our school dean. 

So it must be true. Can I die right now?

I went to bed and started crying. It was the only way I knew  how to do to deal with something as overwhelming as the bar exam results.

For someone as desperate to pass as I was, I surprisingly didn't pray that I make it. I just felt that it would serve no purpose since the results had already been determined. It was just a matter of putting them out publicly, a matter of letting the examinees know whether they made the cut or not. So instead, I prayed for strength, for courage to let me accept whatever the result might be.

March 17. It finally arrived. My best friend and I decided to wait for the news together. We headed to SM Mall of Asia  at around 2:30 PM to watch a movie. We thought it was the only way we could half distract ourselves from being too immersed in the "imminent peril" that was about to hit us.

We chose to see the animated film Rango, "starring" Johnny Depp's voice. When we got inside the cinema, I dragged my best friend to the uppermost seats because I knew that, although we were about to watch a light-themed, animated film, I was going to cry (yes, again) for the rest of the day. Or maybe for the many years to come.


Midway through the movie, we were informed that the release of the results would be at 5 PM. It was around 4:30 PM when we received that information. At that point, I already accepted my fate--that I failed the bar exams. 


I did my best. It's not time yet. Maybe it's not the end of the world. I'll take it again next year. So what if people will laugh at me? They have no fcuking idea what I went through. Those were the thoughts running around my head at that point in time.


At around 4:45 PM, my best friend texted her friend whose mom is a clerk at the Supreme Court. She sent her a list of names, including ours, and asked if those names were in the list.


GULP.


My best friend's phone rang. Her friend replied. GULP. The message read:


"You (my best friend) passed! X, Y and Z made it. Nesrin B. Cali also passed. Congratulations! x x x"


My brain went completely blank. I didn't know what to say. I hugged my best friend so tight and cried (uh-huh, I told you I was  going to cry infinitely) silently.


We decided not to finish the movie and headed outside.  We were walking around the mall, not exactly knowing where to go. We were flying. We were floating. We wanted to scream and jump around like crazy but our rational selves prevented us from doing so. Oh boy do I want to preserve that feeling beyond forever. By far, it the HAPPIEST MOMENT of my life.


We didn't want to inform our families of the news because the official announcement from the Supreme Court wasn't out yet. We wanted to be careful--what if the news relayed to us was incorrect for some reason? 


Minutes after 5, my best friend's sister called, telling us that she saw our names in the list of passers published in the Supreme Court website. That's when it utterly sank into me that, fcukyeah, I AM NOW A LAWYER.


We stayed in the mall for an hour or so. We were just running, and dancing around (by that time, our rational selves were suppressed by  the uncontainable happiness, excitement and elation that overtook us), loudly calling each other "Attorney!" in public (yes, losers, I know) until we got exhausted and went home to get some sleep...peaceful, sound sleep that wasn't interrupted by horrific nightmares of us failing the bar. Ahhh, we hadn't slept like that in a long, long time.


During the months that I was waiting for the results, there was never a moment that I felt confident that I would pass. And that's because I knew I wasn't able to give my 1000% in preparing for the exams. I was going through some personal turmoil during the bar review. I was so distracted and unfocused then that I started properly reviewing  in July (the exams were held in September). Plus, there were times too that I was slacking off. I would sleep more than I should (haha). I knew that if I failed, I had no one to blame but myself.


But with Allah's grace and with the help of the people who took care of me during the bar review/exams (Hello to my best friend's family! I love you guys!), I earned my "Atty." in my first take. Alhamdulillah, ya Allah. 


To this day, I still get teary-eyed every time I remember the whole crap I went through to have those four letters and a period before my name. Law school, bar review, bar exams month (which will be the subject of another blog entry if I get the time to do it), waiting for the bar results--they make up the whole of that crap. Working as a lawyer is an entirely different story. Or crap. Haha. But I'm not being querulous. Being a lawyer may entail more hardship than law school but I have no reason to complain. This has been my dream since high school. It's finally a reality. But even so, it still feels surreal. Up until this point, I still can't believe I'm a lawyer. I always forget that I am. I am only reminded of such fact when I sign my pleadings. :)
 

Taken during the testimonial dinner for new UST lawyers. :)

April 14, 2011: Oath-taking ceremony of the 2010 bar exams passers. :)

This is so Kim Kardashian. The pose, that is. Eeew.

With my lovely sister, Nellie. She's been with me all throughout the bar exams/results crap. <3

Office of the Solicitor General. :)

 
Till my next post. 


Love,


ATTY. Nesrin B. Cali
Admitted to the Bar on April 18, 2011
Roll No. 59447
IBP No. 859521


(I know this is too "provincial", if you know what I mean, but I've been a lawyer for barely three months and I'm still euphoric about it...so yeah, forgive me if I seem to be overly excited about placing that designation before my name. :D)

Dreams Derailed Me

I know I should be happy. Well, I am happy. But I guess I dream too much. And I expect them to become a reality. Dreaming has left me derailed and depressed. I've always wanted to be great at something, to be known for something. But that desire has left me wounded several times. And I never seem to learn.


Maybe I should stop dreaming. No, I SHOULD stop dreaming. I should stop reaching for the star because I now know I don't have the wings to have them in my arms. I'm not meant for great things as I believed. I'm meant for mediocrity.

And So I Took Her In.

I was on my way to my sister's apartment when I heard a loud "meowing". I reckoned it came from somewhere quite far from where I still was. The author of the sound must be in desperate need of help for it to meow as loud as that, I thought. As I neared my sister's place, I saw a little boy squatting. He seemed to be busy with something, unmindful of the scorching heat of the sun. Curious, I went to where he was and saw that he was bullying a little gray kitty. He was hitting her on the head and pulling her tail. (I have no idea what else he did to the poor thing.) The PETA in me roared like a fierce lion and prompted me to bite him on the neck. Alright, not really. But I did give him a good dose of scolding and told him to leave the poor thing alone. As he left, the kitty continued meowing loudly. She pleadingly looked at me in the eyes. Her huge dark blue gray eyes seemed to tell me, "Please take me home with you. Please." And so I did.

When I got to my sister's apartment, we talked about what to do with her. She was too young, we could readily tell she was still being nursed by her mother. "We have to find her mother. We have to return her home." 

In the meantime, we placed her on the doormat outside the apartment so she could get some sleep. She looked really weary from all the bullying. 

Several hours later, I checked on her. She was still there, sleeping unperturbedly. My heart melted at the sight of her. I thought she was going to go out of the apartment and search for her mother. I mean, that's the most natural thing that a stray kitty would do, right? But no, she was different. She decided to stay. I'd like to think she chose us to be her family. And so I took her in.

 

This was how she looked at me after I told the kid to stay away from her. You would be a heartless monster if you would not be moved by her pleading eyes.

November 30, 2010--that's when I found her. She has been with us for almost two months now. She is such a joy to have around, even if she playfully bites and scratches us all the time!

My younger sister and I called her "Tylong", after the villainous character in the animated film "Kung Fu Panda." Why would you name such a cute creature after a greedy, megalomaniac, ungrateful, evil character?, you ask. Uhm, I don't know either but the name fits her for some reason.

Taking care of her, especially when she was younger, was not easy. It was similar to having a baby because she had to be fed every 3-4 hours. So that meant we had to wake up in the middle of the night to feed her. I'm grateful that I was not alone in complying with my "mommy" duties. My younger sister and I took turns. She slept early in the night while I stayed up until 3 AM. By the time I would go to bed, my sister would be up to do her graveyard shift. Hehe.

It was quite difficult to feed her at first cause she would scratch the bottle and our hands. But she later got the hang of it. Whenever she sees the bottle, she runs to us excitedly, even climbs up our legs as if they were tree trunks. She knows it's feeding time. :)

She can consume about 30ml of milk in one feeding session. That's a lot for her size and age. :)

 One of the things I love about her is that she doesn't make it difficult bringing her along in our (my younger sister and I)  many out-of-town travels. She's very playful and energetic when she's in a familiar territory (like my ate's apartment) but when we are on a road trip, she sleeps the whole time and never attempts to break free from my hands (I hold her against my chest like a baby). We were even able to ride a Victory Liner bus with her by placing her inside my sister's huge bag! (Victory Liner has this policy of not allowing animals in its buses. We were so worried during the entire trip that the bus driver or conductor might find out about our little companion inside the bag! But Tylong was so cooperative. She rarely attempted to get out of the bag. She barely meowed too.)

This was taken during one of our trips to the North. We took a Victory Liner bus. Yes, that's her sleeping inside the bag. :)

Her first out-of-town trip. She's very well-behaved. She didn't pee on me too. :)

Sightseeing on the way to Baguio (Christmas 2010). This is my favorite photo of her. She's very human-like here, amazed by what seemed to be a never-ending view of greenery. :)

She would reach out for the speeding cars that would pass by us. Perhaps she thought they were toys. :)

She knows how to pose for the camera too! I love this shot of her! :)

Tylong is very funny too. Most of the time, she does very human-like things, such as sleeping on her back instead of on her tummy like all cats do. She also never sleeps without positioning herself close to someone. At night, we usually find her sleeping beside us. (When she was younger, we would make her sleep in a shoebox with soft cloth as her mattress. Every time she would finish playing, she would climb in the box herself, without any prodding from us.) She also likes it when there are a lot of people around her. In fact, she only plays when she knows there's someone with her. One time, we left her in the backyard of my best friend's house in the province so she could play. We observed her from afar and noticed that every time we'd leave her alone, she would search for a nook or a corner and stay there until someone would arrive. Whenever she would hear the sound of our footsteps, she would happily run to us, as if to say "There you are! I've been waiting for you! Come, let's play!" It's amazing how such a small creature can bring so much joy to us. :)

Having been brought up by humans, Tylong is now confused about her identity. Hehe. :)

The picture right above this one reminded me of Alicia Keys' (unsuccessful) campaign against AIDS. I just had to do a version featuring Tylong. :)

Aren't they adorable? :)

She also sleeps with her head resting on one of her little paws. Awww. :)

She likes blankets too. :)

That's her with my ate. :)

During one of our many afternoon naps together. :)

Sleeping on my ate's tummy. :)

It's play time! :)

She has a great taste in music. She "selected" (she randomly pressed the keys of my laptop) Paramore's "Only Exception" to lull her to sleep. :)

Some of my friends saw her pictures which I posted on Facebook. Seeing that she was a street cat (pusakal, short for pusang kalye), they asked me why I didn't get a pedigreed cat instead. "Well, I do want to have one. I love cats. But I am not really after getting a fancy breed--I am for helping these helpless creatures," was my reply.

It will be great to have a pedigreed feline friend around the house, and for a long time, I have coveted one for myself, I confess. But these street cats (domestic shorthair)--they need our help, love and attention more than their pedigreed kin. I mean, the latter have  a greater opportunity to find a home (most likely among the filthy rich, hehe)  where they would be taken care of, loved, fed expensive cat food, given unnecessarily lavish toys and pampered. What about street cats? Who would care to shower them with such attention when everyone thinks of them as just that--street cats? WHO WOULD EVEN BOTHER TO GIVE THEM FOOD AND WATER AND SHELTER? 

There are very few people who sincerely care about them. For if most of us realize that they too have lives, that they too are God's creatures despite the fact that they are just of ordinary breed, then we wouldn't see them rummaging through piles of garbage for food. We wouldn't see them drinking black water from canals. We wouldn't see them being run over in the streets. We wouldn't see them seeking refuge from the heat or the cold under parked cars. We wouldn't see them being violently kicked by some heartless, psychopath people. It breaks my heart every time I see them in such miserable state. :(

That's the reason why I made the choice to adopt Tylong, an "ordinary" kitty. She could have been beaten to death by that child had I not arrived in time. Or she could have died of hunger since she was still being breastfed by her mother. Or she could have been run over while seeking shelter under an immobile vehicle. 

Yes, she may be classified as belonging to an "ordinary" pedigree. But she is by no means ordinary to me and my sisters. She is smart. She knows how to show her love for us by licking us on the face  every  time she cleans herself, as if to say, "Here, I'll clean you too." We didn't litter-train her but she knows where she should pee and poop. She makes us smile and entertains us with her acrobatic-like jumps. She keeps me company when I'm alone in the apartment.  She inspired me to have a new dream--to establish an animal shelter for street and abandoned cats. Above all, she reminded us of something which we knew all along but momentarily became oblivious of--that street cats or pusakal, no matter how ordinary we view them to be, are nevertheless living creatures who need (and are in more need of) love and care, attention and, most importantly, RESPECT. 

Tylong is not a street cat. She's family, our little baby.

Hello, World.

Before I introduce myself and exchange pleasantries with you, world, I would just like to point out that I've never had an official blog like this one before. No, I stand corrected. I did create an account here but I never got the time to maintain or (much less) update it. I was a sophomore law student then, thus a huge portion of my time was eaten up by reading voluminous books (boring books, if you must) and cases, and worrying about my grades--will I make it to the next semester or will the Faculty of Civil Law give my arse a hard kick (as its way of saying, "Tata! You are unworthy to be in these hallowed halls where great men of this country once walked!")? I forgot about it altogether. I don't even remember what e-mail I used to create it. 

The closest thing I had to a blog site like this was Friendster blog. OK, before you start sticking your tongue out, let me explain. I used Friendster blog because it was easier to maintain and update. I was a Friendster addict, I confess, so every time I opened my account and felt like writing about whatever was making me happy, bothering me or depressing me, I just had to click on the blog item of my page and then type nonsensical stuff away. Sadly, the sudden and unforeseen onset of  the Facebook domination resulted to the morose death of my Friendster addiction. And I say "sadly" because since my obsession over social networks has been directed to Facebook, I never got the chance to write something online like I used to in the erstwhile object of my social network fixation.

True, Facebook has the "Notes" feature but it is nothing close to a real blog site like what Friendster blog offers. In the latter, the user can customize the layout, the design, the font style/size of his or her blog page. In FB's Notes feature, none of those options is available, thus making the user--well, at least for me--feel less inclined to write. Do you get my drift?

I love writing. That's an understatement. I am unfathomably in love with the written word. I love playing with words. I love how one can use them in so many different ways and combination to relate one and the same thought. I love how the written word can make one experience things vicariously. I love how it can evoke emotions in the reader. The written word, indeed, is very powerful.

Aside from those reasons, writing is very cathartic and therapeutic for me. For someone suffering from manic depression, paranoia and schizophrenia, it has been an imperative part of the reason why I'm still relatively sane. It has also been my most powerful weapon against those who, for one reason or another, provoke me into turning into the diabolical, evil and outrageously badass version of myself. Ah, you don't want to see that side of me--I can say the meanest things to you and I won't regret it. I can pierce your heart and make you bleed profusely with words. Haha. Really now?

Where was I? Oh, yes, I love writing. I always tell people that I express myself so much better through written words than through spoken ones. My yearning to clothe the thoughts inside my cluttered head with written words principally prompted me to create this blog site. So there.

Now that I have explained why I created this blog page (and I don't know why I felt the need to do that in the first place--yes, I am that confused, haha), let me introduce myself to you, citizens of the World Wide Web.

My name is Nesrin Bazar Cali, a law graduate from the University of Santo Tomas. 

Music is in every fiber of my body and soul (wow). It is, alongside writing, my sanctuary and refuge when I feel despondent and my way of celebrating the beauty of life (WTF, you say). 

I always list singing, songwriting, playing the guitar and literature as my primordial interests. Coldplay, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Blondie, Bread, The Corrs, Cranberries, Carlos Santana, Yngwie Malmsteen, Guns N' Roses, Florence and the Machine, Nerina Pallot, Imogen Heap, Feist, Eagles, Greenday, Tori Amos, Evanescence, Marina and the Diamonds, Joe Satriani, Bjork and Patti Smith are just some of my musical influences. But my biggest musical influence, really, is my Dad. He is the one who introduced me to a very diverse range of music. He is responsible for my versatile taste in music.

I am fascinated by politics and all its dynamics but I never fancied being a direct participant in the field, especially in this country. International politics and international law interest me too. 

 I am a voracious reader. I love reading materials that are intellectually stimulating--Reader's Digest, Time Magazine, Newsweek are on top of my list. OK, let me stop there before I leave you the impression that I am (or my entries will be)  boring, nerdy or geeky.

Hmm, what can offset that very heavy thing I just said about myself? Oh, I love cooking! I'm not really a confined-to-cookbooks type of cook because doing recipes from cookbooks is not as exciting as coming up with your own and experimenting with ingredients and flavors!

I love fashion, styling and make-up. My taste in fashion is basically classic, vintage. I don't really go for trends and edgy stuff (unless the items, be they clothes or shoes, are irresistibly pretty) because they die too soon. I think they are a waste of money, really. I love clothes  and shoes the style and design of which last, are timeless, you know? I would love to hand down some of my, err, expensive buys to my children/grandchildren without them getting teased that they raided their mother's/grandmother's closet. And oh, I love pieces or things with unique designs (or which I feel are representative of me) because I never found being different  as something to be avoided, even when I was in my teens, a period when the pressure to blend in the crowd is at its peak. 

Make-up, oh, don't get me started. I have a huge box (a three-year old kid can fit inside of it) full of make-up items. Enough said. 

To end this part of the entry, I just feel that it is significant for me to let you know that I love pets and animals. I can establish a city zoo out of all the pets I now have (discounting the ones who already departed to the next life, huhu). That's an exaggeration, of course, but yeah, pets have always been part of my life. It runs in the family. Alright, I must stop here, lest I might appear too in love with myself. Eeek.

I apologize for seeming to be too self-centered. I just think I needed to write such a lengthy, nausea-inducing introduction about myself so you'll know what to expect from my entries and what this blog is about--a sundry of unrelated things, experiences, musings, thoughts and everything in between. I told you--inside my head, it is very cluttered.

You may now enter.

P.S. I am a noob to this so pardon my dull and completely visually lackluster layout. When I get to learn how to go about this, I will do something that would make my site at least visually enticing, if not so content-wise.